Woah, Woah Stuck Like Glue

Have you ever had someone in your life that you've been through hell and back with?
It seems like I've said it a hundred times. (And I'm sure I have...) "I can't do this." "I'm sorry, I'm done." "I will always love you, but it's time for me to say goodbye." It's like the world comes crashing down at least once a week and the relationship spins into turmoil because something else has come up telling me that I just can't do it anymore. Yet somehow every time, some mystical force pulls me back in. It's like no matter what happens, it's not enough to break us. Maybe it's fate. Maybe it's love. Maybe it's God. But whatever it is, I'm grateful for it. Because even after all the pain and fear and change and hell, I wouldn't trade it for the world. Having a best friend that will always be there for me, no matter how much we change; having someone that shapes me on a daily basis; having someone who loves me with everything they can is maybe not something I need to survive, but it is something I choose to have in my life. And it's a blessing that I will forever be grateful for. Because at this point, I think we're going to last. No matter how many times I tell you I can't do it, I know that we haven't made it this far for nothing. Something's telling me I'm never losing you.

"And I know I'm never letting this go. I'm stuck on you. Woah, woah stuck like glue. You and me baby we're stuck like glue."

"Recuerdo" -Edna St. Vincent Millay

We were very tired, we were very merry—

We had gone back and forth all night on the ferry.

It was bare and bright, and smelled like a stable—

But we looked into a fire, we leaned across a table,

We lay on a hill-top underneath the moon;

And the whistles kept blowing, and the dawn came soon.

We were very tired, we were very merry—

We had gone back and forth all night on the ferry;

And you ate an apple, and I ate a pear,

From a dozen of each we had bought somewhere;

And the sky went wan, and the wind came cold,

And the sun rose dripping, a bucketful of gold.

We were very tired, we were very merry,

We had gone back and forth all night on the ferry.

We hailed “Good morrow, mother!” to a shawl-covered head,

And bought a morning paper, which neither of us read;

And she wept, “God bless you!” for the apples and pears,

And we gave her all our money but our subway fares.

I like this poem a lot. Is it the repetition or easy vocabulary? The sing-songy rhyme scheme? No. I like this poem because it reminds me of my best friend. This couple goes back and forth all night on a ferry. What is significant about a ferry? Nothing. Yeah, ferries can be fun, but what makes you decide to take a ferry all night on a Saturday night? What makes you decide to do absolutely nothing? And what makes doing absolutely nothing so fun?

What makes absolutely nothing so fun is doing absolutely nothing with someone whose presence itself is enough. I feel that way with my best friend. The days I do absolutely nothing all day with my best friend are some of the most enjoyable days I've experienced. We spent our last night together before he left for college (1300 miles away) sitting on the couch, playing on his laptop. Yet I didn't regret it. I didn't wish we could have some spectacular adventure I'd remember forever. Nothing mattered but being there with my best friend in the entire world for the last time.

Having a friendship like that is epitomized in this poem. And it makes me happy and peaceful. Because it doesn't matter what you do. Their presence is enough.

Marriage

This is a paper I had to write for my Theology class. I had to interview a married couple. I chose my grandparents.

Barrett and Jennie Murphy- 51 years

            A marriage takes many different aspects to work. Marriage is a combination of friendship, love, romance, compassion, teamwork, dreams, honesty, communication, and strength to name a few. I interviewed my grandparents on their thoughts of marriage. What it takes, what love is, what made it last 51 years? When asked what it takes to make a marriage work, my grandfather’s key point was “give and take.” It takes work from both sides to make a successful marriage. One person cannot be doing all the work, and neither can do nothing. It is a balance. From my grandmother’s perspective, both must be “considerate of their spouse and work with them.” Marriage is like a team that is brought together for the rest of their lives. My grandmother notes, “it is a 24-hour job.” And that it is. According to my grandmother, marriage takes a lot of communication. What do they think love entails? To my grandfather, love entails “being cooperative with one another and giving of oneself.” So simply said, yet so true. My grandmother believes very strongly that love entails selflessness and blind commitment. You have to trust without knowing if they’re going to catch you. You have to believe in the good in them because of love without knowing if any of it is real. You have to believe in love. To a granddaughter who does not see her grandparents show affection that often, I was curious to hear their take on how important romance is on a daily basis. Both of them seemed to agree that it is important to show affection, but romance on a daily basis is not necessary to keep a marriage alive. After fifty years, romance must still be in a marriage to make it work, but love is integrated into every aspect of the relationship and romance is not necessary to keep it alive. Lastly, you may be wondering what has made their 51-year marriage last. I think my grandfather put it better than anyone ever could: “Patience and faith.” Patience and faith has kept their marriage afloat for 51 years, and I think that is a lesson for everyone to learn. Patience with each other, patience with yourself, patience with your children, patience with life! Faith through the good times, faith through the bad times, faith in each other, faith in life, and faith in God. That is what makes any relationship last—especially the bond of marriage. Patience and faith are the glue.

            My grandparents are simple in their ways and do not like to talk about love that often, but it seems to me they’ve got it down. And it works for them. To me, love is different for everyone. I think that you can try to put love into all these beautiful words but when it comes down to it, love is love. Love is a bond that encompasses emotions, daily lives, mind, body, soul, and all being. It is painful yet amazing and nothing can replace it. It is the ultimate oxymoron and paradox of our world. The Beatles seemed to have the right idea when they so plainly put it, “All we need is love.” And the cliché “love makes the world go round,” is not a cliché you should overlook so quickly. A love for someone never leaves. Marriage, just like any other relationship is made of love, compromise, communication, honesty, selflessness, and teamwork. A marriage is the ultimate bond between two people who love each other. I believe just as my grandfather said, that patience and faith along with honesty, trust, communication, and love are what keep marriage afloat. Without those qualities, what foundation do you have for the life you’re building in communion with someone else?